Michael was/is a maddening, wonderful, special man. I always tried to play it cool, but getting a link from him or a mention by him in a podcast or something was for me akin to seeing dad in the stands after making a great play on the ball field. I wanted his approval and “good word” so much. And then other times I felt really protective of him, like he was a kid or something. Isn’t that weird? I remember the big brouhaha between BHT and TeamPyro whenever that was (2006?), and even my friend Bill, who wasn’t even a particularly big fan of Michael’s felt compelled to jump in to defend him. Michael had that effect. I wanted his mentorship so many times and I wanted to be able to say to him so many other times, “I think you’re nuts.” And he was such a man, an honest and weathered and real man, he was cool with it all. His was the only necessary voice in the Christian interwebs. I said that before he was even sick, so I’m not making it up now.

This post-evangelical wilderness stuff was both his lament and his bread and butter. I guess he just wasn’t made for these times. But I’m thankful he was. And I know he’s where it’s realer. I think that’s what he wanted: everything and everybody realer. Michael wasn’t the anybody of the blogosphere. He was the Internet Monk of the blogosphere. There is now the post-iMonk Christian blogosphere.

A few weeks ago I said on Twitter that none of us are gonna get to heaven and hear Jesus say, “Great blog, dude.” I take that back. Michael made so many people, from so many different places and traditions and perspectives and experiences, feel like they weren’t alone — many times through sharing his own sense of exile — and he did it by stubbornly insisting a fixation on Jesus.