"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom?" –Marvin Martian


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I'm a mid-30s engineer and software nerd from the Midwest. Married and father to three daughters, I lead worship occasionally at our EFCA church. While I won't ever be keeping up with some of our fellows on the fine points of Lutheran doctrine, I enjoy providing grist for the Tavern's conversation mill.

The TL;DR Bible

OK, it’s probably a first quoting something from Reddit on the BHT, but this was pretty funny: GENESIS God: All right, you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun. Adam & Eve: Okay. Satan: You should do the thing. Adam & Eve: Okay. God: What happened!? Adam & Eve: We did […]

5 areas to address to revitalize the church

Brian Croft writes on 5 areas that must be addressed to revitalize the local church. 1) Authority: Who is in Charge? 2) Leadership: Who do I Follow? 3) Membership: To Whom am I Accountable? 4) Unity: Who is my Brother? 5) Worship: Why do we Gather? Is it just me, or is (at a minimum) […]

One of these days I’m gonna have to start watching Parks & Rec, aren’t I?

My last thoughts on this one:

(1) If as JesseB says, shame in this area is truly a dichotomy, then shouldn’t the shame be on the men for their lust, rather than on the women for being the shape that God made them? (2) I can’t help but think that this discussion is colored by the fact that we’re all a […]

Which is more important: protecting women from shame or men from lust? Is it better for a woman to be plagued by anxiety and guilt for her dress, or for a man to be plagued by anxiety and guilt for his thoughts? I’ll take “smells like a false dichotomy” for $200, please, Alex. Edit: that […]

I’m not trying to be confusing…

I’ll fully admit that I’m still a bit reactionary about things like dress / modesty codes given my fundie upbringing. That’s what you said. I literally have about zero clue what that means. Especially since you’re a straight guy and you have daughters. What I mean is that, having seen a teaching abused or pushed […]

All this straw… where are the Tin Man and the Lion?

Jaredd, I never accused you of saying biology was the only consideration. I agree that was more FP‘s point. You basically said (and I paraphrase, forgive me) “hey, guys aren’t allowed to show their private bits, and girls aren’t allowed to show their private bits, so everything must be fair.” I proposed that the issue […]

Bill, the sadly funny thing in this situation is that Mars Hill and many other churches of its ilk will specifically restrict folks from resigning membership if they are under church discipline. Of course, the “stay at your own church and work on your own issues” rule apparently didn’t apply to Mahaney, and now it […]

Ah, the power of one little tweet…

Dress codes are not sexist, by simple inspection. Boys cannot show their butt-cracks and their penises or their bellies. Girls cannot show their bellies, tits, cracks or vaginas. Seems fair to me. That’s a nice straw man, Jaredd. If it were that simple, we’d all be done with the discussion already. No one, including the […]

No, dangit, I *won’t* let you hear my sermon…

I gotta say, Matthew, that’s a pretty epic Jesus Juke right there. Well played. :-) So, folks, any thoughts on the Houston sermon subpoena? I’m finding my social streams to be a fascinating mix of “separation of church and state, so tell them to pound sand” and “heck, somebody wants to read my sermons? send […]